It’s impossible to think that you’ll always agree with your partner in a relationship, all the time.
Disagreements are inevitable but angry, hurtful confrontations shouldn’t be. We decided early on that blowout arguments weren’t going to happen in our relationship.
In the last 17 years of being together, we’ve developed a few “rules” to make sure we’re fighting fair instead of hurting feelings. In this episode, we walk through them (and share a few times that we’ve failed).
In this episode, we talk about:
- Our 3 rules for fighting fair:
- #1 Don’t Bring Up the Past: keep your disagreement in the moment, in the present
- #2 No Name Calling
- #3 No Generalizations: be specific, avoid “always” and “never”
- A few times we’ve broken the rules
- How we politely remind each other of the “rules” in the heat of the moment
- Why you need to de-escalate a fight if you want to affect change
In your next disagreement, monitor your own behavior. Make sure you can follow these rules yourself before suggesting to your partner putting a few parameters around your arguments.
Mentioned in this episode:
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